Do you work at Subway? Because you just gave me Cheesy Pick Up LinesDirty.Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight!.I’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.You remind me of myCheesy Pick Up Lines… because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.
Are you from Iraq? ‘Cause I like the way you Baghdad ass up.
Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you’re the only one I’d like to catch and mount back at my place.
My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?
I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
Do you have an Asian passport? Because I’m China get into your Japantees
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
I think it’s time I tell you what people are saying behind your back… “Nice ass!”
I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in.
Are you a termite? Cause you’re about to have a mouth full of wood.
Are you a middle eastern dictator? Because there’s a political uprising in my pants!
Are you a farmer? Because you’ve got some big, round, beautiful melons!
Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my penis!
Your face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.
Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
Do you run track? Cause I heard you Relay want this dick.
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.
Are you from the ghetto? Cause I’m about to ghetto hold of dat ass.
You know what I like in a girl? My dick.
Are you a doctor? cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction.
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie – I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? [Pull your pockets inside out] Would you like to?
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
If I were a Nintendo cartridge would you blow me?
Do you work at Home Depot? Because you’re giving me wood.
I would tell you a joke about my penis, but it’s too long!
Hi, I’m wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn’t have to be.
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one.
Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ between ‘F’ and ‘CK’
F**k me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Laura?
Hey Baby! I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
Are you a pirate? Cause I’ve got a lot of semen waiting for you.
You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.
Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.
Is that a keg in your pants? Because I’d love to tap that ass.
Do you have an inhaler? Because you’ve got ass ma.
Hey cutie, wanna go halves on a baby?
You can call me cake, cause I’ll go straight to your ass.
Are you hungry? Cause omelette you suck this dick.
Do you like pudding? Cause I’ll be pudding this dick in your ass.
Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I’d love to spread them!
Can I read your t-shirt in braille?
Are you an early hominid? Because I’ve got a Homo Erectus right now.
Do you have pet insurance? Because your pussy’s getting smashed tonight!
Are you my homework? Cause I’m not doing you but I definitely should be.
Do you like jalapeños? Cause in a minute I’ll be jalapeño pussy.
Roses are red, violets are fine. If I be the 6, will you be the 9?
I’m not Asian but I’ll still eat your cat.
There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus.
Do you go to church often? Cause you’re gonna be on your knees tonight.
Touch your toes and I’ll show you where the rocket goes!
On a scale from 1 to “the human centipede”, how close am I to that ass?
Do you know your ABC’s? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.
I hope you like dragons, because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
Are you an archaeologist? Because I’ve got a bone for you to examine.
I’ll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Just remember: To you, I am a virgin.
What’s the speed limit of sex? [what?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
I’m like a Rubik’s Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I don’t have a Ferrari.
Hi, do you want to have my children? [No] OK, can we just practice then?
I’m afraid of the dark… Will you sleep with me tonight?
I love my bed but I’d rather be in yours.
Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find ’em hot and leave ’em wet!
If I’m a pain in your ass… We can just add more lubricants.
I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I don’t need it after all.
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Do you work at build-a-bear? Because I’d stuff you
I’ll kiss you in the rain, so you get twice as wet.
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
Do you know the difference between my dick and a chicken wing? No? Well, let’s go on a picnic and find out!
Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k? [No] What’s wrong, don’t you like pizza?
Are you a raisin? Cuz you’re a raisin my dick!
If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?
I’m hung like a tic tac. Wanna freshen your breath?
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let’s play gynecologist.
Do you smoke pot? Because weed be cute together
Do you come here often or wait till you get home?
Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
Do you need a stud in your life? Cause I got the STD and all I need is U.
If you thought Disneyland was the happiest place on earth, you haven’t been in my pants yet!
Why pay for a bra, when I would gladly hold your boobs up all day for free?
You smell like trash. May I take you out?
If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don’t, so let’s go.
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? [No] Well then, allow me to introduce myself.
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I’d gladly put my meat inside you
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?
That dress looks great on you…as a matter of fact, so would I.
So, come back to my place, and if you don’t like it I swear I’ll give you a full refund.
Miss, If you’ve lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?
Hey baby, let’s play house, you can be the door and I’ll slam you all night long!
Hey baby, wanna play lion? You go kneel down right there and I’ll throw you my meat.
Is your name Osteoporosis? Because you’re giving me a serious bone condition
Hi, my name is “Milk.” I’ll do your body good.
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
Let’s play carpenter. First we’ll get hammered, then I’ll nail you.
Are you from Africa? Cause I wanna know Kenya suck this dick?
We’re like hot chocolate and marshmallows… You’re hot and I wanna be on top of you.
Wanna go on an ‘ate’ with me? I’ll give you the ‘D’ later.
You’re so hot, even my pants are falling for you!
Are you from the Philippines? Because I wanna phil you with my penis.
Do you like Ramen Noodles? Cuz I’ll be Rammin’ my noodle in you later.
Are you spaghetti cause I want you to meat my balls.
Do you like whales? Cause we can go hump back at my place.
Baby I last longer than a white crayon.
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
Do you like to draw? Cause I put the D in Raw.
We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I’ll poke you.
You remind me of the movie “Scarface” cause I want you to say hello to my little friend.
Do you like Adele? Cause I can tell you wanna be rolling in the D.
Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
“Do you like cherries?” [No.] “Ok, can I have yours?”
Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger? [No] Wink.
[Excuse me, do you have the time?] “Yes, do you have the energy?”
At the office copy machine “Reproducing eh?” “Can I help?”
Do you have a phone in your back pocket? Because your booty is calling me.
(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
Hi, wanna f**k? [No] Mind lying down while I do?
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.